I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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