it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
