I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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