I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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