This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
