Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
