I think I am morally bankrupt
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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