i would punch a child for taco bell
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I am morally bankrupt
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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