Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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