So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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