I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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