just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
