No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
