dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
