I wanna bring you to show and tell
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
