saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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