Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
North Korea, Best Korea!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
