Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
