when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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