:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
