so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
