I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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