Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
