I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
