got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
