The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
