i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
