how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
