he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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