you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
