They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
