I want to walk on stilts...naked
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
