So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
