Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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