Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just pynch a tree in the face
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
