you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
