So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
