I'm going to jail i love you
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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