dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
