guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
