I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
be right there i have to get my cape
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
