I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i dont even know how to be here
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
