I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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