if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My liver just broke up with me...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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