My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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