there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
