ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
