She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
pray to the hookup gods
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
