Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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