Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
